Sunday, April 22, 2012

Slacking.. Busy??

Alright, so I have been off the radar again for a couple weeks now, but between work and trying to find a social life I had been burning both ends of my candle.  Trust me.  I am usually an 8-9 hour kind of gal.  But today I woke up from a 13 hour snooze.  Do not get me wrong, it felt amazing and I feel rejuvenated.  And for the most part, I have learned my lesson. 

However, that does not really solve the problem of me not having any "single" friends.  And no, I am not referencing guys in general for dating.  I am stating that with my new status, I kinda need some different friends to hang out with sometimes.  I still love my family (friends are family to me), but I also need to find some people that are on the same playing field as me.  I am not looking for "mom-and-me-play-dates" but I am also not looking for "It-is-so-loud-and-so-late-club-nights".  I know, I am sounding pretty old right about now and that is also something else... I need to find people that have the same ideas and are around the same age as me.  It would be cool to hang out with 21 year olds... NOT!  No offense to my sister or anyone else that is around that age that may read this, but I think I have done my time in Night clubs.  I like to chill at home, with a glass of wine, by a fire... I do realize that there is my problem in the first place, but where would I even begin to make "Single" friends?  I have been in a couple for way too long to know where to start.   

Sleep is not the only thing that I have been slacking on though.  I have been slacking on a little bit of everything that I had made into my "routine"(for the lack of better words).  So I am restarting the 21-Day Sugar Detox.  I fell of that band wagon and smacked and stumbled into "OH NO LAND"  Trust me when I say that.  And without going into too much detail lets just say that I feel fluffy for the first time in MONTHS and I do NOT like it.  I do not like the bloating feeling.  It makes me feel like I belong in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  (oh yeah... I went there). 

However, I have not been watching TV as often (perhaps not having random channels easily accessible any longer is a blessing) but I have been reading.  Oh... how I love books.  It is so much better than watching something.  I have enough drama in my life that I do not need to feel the anxiety of "fake drama".  I would rather lavish in written words and allow my imagination to paint a picture of what the author is saying.  Just me though.  It is a splendid feeling how words can stir any emotion that you may interpret or the author put in there. 

So, 21-Day Sugar Detox commences.... yet again...starting........NOW!

Sunday, April 1, 2012


Well, I have been going through a lot of things these days: mainly working, but there has been a little emotion involved.  I must say that one of the best compliments that I received earlier this week was from a friend of mine.  As I approached her, she said, "Where did my friend go?  You look amazing"  Later on in the conversation, she stated, "Melissa, you are handling this like a lady."  When she said it I just shrugged it off, attempting not to cry, and stated, "I said from the very beginning I did not want to lose me in this battle."  But the compliment in of itself is still a HIGH for me.  Me a Lady.  Better than that, acting like one.  But it is not just an act folks, nope, I am the real deal.

I was driving home from work yesterday thinking to myself where I want to be in a year.  Images were flashing through my mind.  Career. House. Car. Beach. Books.  I cannot pick just one particular image or thought that I would want, but at least I know that they are there in the back of my mind.  As I was thinking about things I would like to accomplish though there are plenty of things that I have already accomplished without ever really trying.  I have a great support system of family and friends (this one is key to my success).  I have my health.  A job.  Food and Clothing.  Freshly shavin' legs and out of the dryer sheets. 

For those that do not know me well enough, it truly is the small things in life that matter to me.  It is.  And I might have said it before but I will say it again, I expect great things from people because I would be willing to do great things for them.  Some times I am disappointed.  Some times, I am left in amazement.  There have been some people that I have distance myself from.  Some because I am in control of my life, not them.  Others, I am learning to truly trust them and myself.  I am guarding myself very tightly.  I am looking out for my own interests.  No one else will have my BEST interest at heart, but me.  I feel for the first time in a while.... Free.

I have been a bit extreme these days with work and I have allowed it to get the best of me... plus, I have been wanting to do fun things and not worry about the consequences of it.  I have been staying up late and eating all kinds of wrong-for-me-food.  My buddy, Civilized Caveman is about to start the 21-day (His is 30 day) Sugar Detox.  I will be right there with him.  I kept pushing off some sad excuse as to, "Oh it is not that kinda could be considered Paleo"... "or I will workout when I get home..." and then I wonder why I get scatterbrained or cannot sleep, or my stomach hurts, or I have not felt good in a few days.  

So, Today and all the rest of the days to come are about me.  I need to focus on myself and get in the direction I want to go.  I do not want to be stagnant.  I want to keep moving forward.