Sunday, April 1, 2012


Well, I have been going through a lot of things these days: mainly working, but there has been a little emotion involved.  I must say that one of the best compliments that I received earlier this week was from a friend of mine.  As I approached her, she said, "Where did my friend go?  You look amazing"  Later on in the conversation, she stated, "Melissa, you are handling this like a lady."  When she said it I just shrugged it off, attempting not to cry, and stated, "I said from the very beginning I did not want to lose me in this battle."  But the compliment in of itself is still a HIGH for me.  Me a Lady.  Better than that, acting like one.  But it is not just an act folks, nope, I am the real deal.

I was driving home from work yesterday thinking to myself where I want to be in a year.  Images were flashing through my mind.  Career. House. Car. Beach. Books.  I cannot pick just one particular image or thought that I would want, but at least I know that they are there in the back of my mind.  As I was thinking about things I would like to accomplish though there are plenty of things that I have already accomplished without ever really trying.  I have a great support system of family and friends (this one is key to my success).  I have my health.  A job.  Food and Clothing.  Freshly shavin' legs and out of the dryer sheets. 

For those that do not know me well enough, it truly is the small things in life that matter to me.  It is.  And I might have said it before but I will say it again, I expect great things from people because I would be willing to do great things for them.  Some times I am disappointed.  Some times, I am left in amazement.  There have been some people that I have distance myself from.  Some because I am in control of my life, not them.  Others, I am learning to truly trust them and myself.  I am guarding myself very tightly.  I am looking out for my own interests.  No one else will have my BEST interest at heart, but me.  I feel for the first time in a while.... Free.

I have been a bit extreme these days with work and I have allowed it to get the best of me... plus, I have been wanting to do fun things and not worry about the consequences of it.  I have been staying up late and eating all kinds of wrong-for-me-food.  My buddy, Civilized Caveman is about to start the 21-day (His is 30 day) Sugar Detox.  I will be right there with him.  I kept pushing off some sad excuse as to, "Oh it is not that kinda could be considered Paleo"... "or I will workout when I get home..." and then I wonder why I get scatterbrained or cannot sleep, or my stomach hurts, or I have not felt good in a few days.  

So, Today and all the rest of the days to come are about me.  I need to focus on myself and get in the direction I want to go.  I do not want to be stagnant.  I want to keep moving forward. 

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